


Until Midnight

by ryelined



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, Stargazing, Strangers to Lovers, Suga is very sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-13 07:28:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28524723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryelined/pseuds/ryelined
Summary: After being stranded in an unfamiliar city on New Year's Eve, you're doomed to have a horrible holiday.  That is, until a stranger shows up and turns your night around for the better.
Relationships: Sugawara Koushi/Reader
Comments: 10
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

Your blood runs cold as the word  _ CANCELLED _ flashes onto the screen. You blink once, twice, three times, expecting the word to have disappeared each time. Your thoughts start racing. You must be reading it wrong, you  _ have _ to be misunderstanding… but, no. It’s absolutely still there. Could it be a bug? The result of some half-awake employee pressing a wrong button? You’ve almost convinced yourself that must be the case when the overhead speakers come blaring on.

_ FLIGHT A9B46 TO [HOME CITY] HAS BEEN CANCELLED DUE TO INCLEMENT WEATHER. PLEASE VISIT THE CUSTOMER SERVICE DESK FOR MORE INFORMATION. _

“No… that can’t be… ” The sun outside shines through wall-length airport windows to light up the terminal. There isn’t a single cloud in sight. You whip out your phone and check the weather for your home city. Your heart sinks down into your feet when you read the status. It’s no fluke: your city is right in the middle of a blizzard. 

_ Where did this come from?!  _ You sink back into your chair and let your phone fall from your hand, gazing listlessly out at the pure blue sky. You’ve dealt with flight cancellations before, and they’re always a pain, but out of all days to miss a flight… today is the absolute worst. It’s New Year’s Eve, and you’re stuck in a city full of strangers. 

You try to fight back tears as you come to terms with your situation. You clench your fists so tightly you can feel your nails digging into your skin, but you don’t allow your frustration to show on your face. You’ve had tonight marked on your calendar for months, with little exclamation points and fireworks scribbled around it. After a long year of a crazy work schedule and never-ending time commitment conflicts between you and your friends, tonight was supposed to be the night you were all finally able to get together and have fun without a care in the world.

Or, so you thought, until yesterday morning when your boss shoved you on a flight halfway across the country to deal with some issue in one of your company’s remote offices. You’d protested of course, practically on your hands and knees begging her to wait just a few more days, or to just let you resolve the problem virtually. In her typical fashion, she didn’t even bat an eye and told you that it wasn’t a debatable issue. You would have plenty of time to get things worked out and fly back. And now here you are, grounded, alone, and doing your best to keep yourself from sending her a  _ very _ passive-aggressive email.

You open up your email app and start typing something about how you were stranded in a strange city, and for all you know you could be murdered, or robbed, or kidnapped, and it was all her fault. You don’t actually send it, but instead add it to the hundreds of drafts of similarly seething emails you would love to send your boss. Would it be worth losing your job? Potentially. But, for the most part, just pretending like you're going to send it helps you get some of the anger off your chest. You take a deep breath and stand up, pulling yourself back to reality. 

You’ve brooded, now it’s time to make the most of your situation. Sure, you’re stuck in a city where you don’t know a soul, besides the people from the office you suppose. You certainly aren’t about to go beg some work acquaintances to let you in on their New Year’s Eve plans. You don’t need to. There’s millions of other people out there waiting for you, and you’re determined to have the time you deserve tonight.

* * *

Despite your determination, you aren’t really that shocked when you find yourself, hours later, sitting at the counter of some random bar and twirling the straw around in your drink. Your phone lies loosely in your hand as messages and photos from your friends pop up. Each one hits you with a new wave of heartache. The city you’re in now is a few hours behind them, so they’re all kicking off the New Year as the last rays of the sunset from outside cut through the murk of the bar. You take a sip of your drink and frown. They were all just as upset as you when you told them your bad news, and you’re grateful that they’re keeping you in the loop. But, sitting alone on your phone at a bar on New Year’s Eve while watching everyone have fun without you is making it hard not to be bitter.

You shut off your phone and stow it away in your bag. It’s just making you feel worse, so you might as well focus on the present. You spin your chair around to face the bar, assaying the crowd. It looks like everyone is having the time of their lives, except for you. Everybody is smiling. People are loosely organized into groups, laughing and cheersing over the music. Other people are dancing, some of them looking like they’re enjoying themselves so genuinely that it’s almost enough to get you off your feet. A sliver of hope runs through you, until you make your next observation: the couples. 

The bitterness comes back in full force. All around you, couples have their hands interlocked or their arms around each other, swaying in sync with the music. Eyes locked like nobody else in the world exists. You hate it.

This feeling is inevitable, you’re just able to push it to the side when you’re with your friends. You would never admit it to anyone except yourself, but… you’re lonely. And being lonely on New Year’s Eve is a whole different kind of loneliness. When the clock strikes midnight and all the couples ring in the new year with a kiss, you’ve always been solo. Every year besides this one, you’ve had your friends to celebrate with so you didn’t mind too much. But now, there’s nothing to ward off the empty feeling seeping into your chest. 

You turn back to the counter and down the rest of your drink with a grimace. You aren’t sure how you’re gonna get through tonight. It’s time to make a game plan. You could keep sitting here and feeling sorry for yourself, and hope some attractive stranger notices you. Or you could—

Your thoughts are interrupted by a tap on your shoulder. You turn around with a jump and are met with one of the most handsome men you’ve seen all night. He’s got shaggy silver hair that just misses a pair of bright brown eyes. Your heart skips a beat at the little mole under one of them.  _ Well, that wasn’t so hard _ , you think as you slip on your winning flirtatious smile. 

“Oh, sorry!” he shouts over the music, catching you off guard. That’s not usually the line guys start with. “I thought you were someone else!” And with that, he disappears back into the crowd. You sit in shock for a moment, desperately hoping he’ll come back so you can get another glance at him. But, your hoping is all in vain. With a huff, you jump off your chair and all but stomp out of the bar. That’s enough—you can’t take this anymore.

The raw emotion you’d managed to swallow earlier at the airport is making its way back to you, and you don’t think you have the stamina to repress it this time. You hardly notice the people you have to push through to get to the door, but the breath of cold air you inhale once you walk out into the night relieves you enough to hold it together for a little bit longer. 

You look around frantically for a secluded spot. Outside is hardly any less crowded than it had been inside the bar. You spot an alley across the street, and even in your emotional state you get the sense that people have definitely been murdered in it. But, your ability to keep your composure under control is fading with every second, so your only options are either breaking down in front of an entire city or getting murdered. You decide the latter is the better option. 

The alley’s not quite as bad up close, but that isn’t saying much . You wander down a bit and find a dumpster. The perfect place to have a mental breakdown. As the tears start to well up in your eyes and your chest tightens up, you lean back against the brick wall on the side of the dumpster where no one on the street can see you. 

Finally shielded from the world, you let it all out. Sobs wrack your body and you slide down to the ground, curling yourself into a tight ball. You always try to calm yourself down by thinking over what you're upset about, but you find the pile growing higher and higher. You miss your friends, you’re pissed at your boss, you’ve been burnt out from work for months, and… you don't even have anyone waiting for you at home to make it all better. A hand to hold when times get rough, like they are now. So, you just keep letting the tears pool onto your dress. 

“E-excuse me, are you okay?” Your head shoots up fast enough to break your neck. This is it, you’re getting murdered. Maybe having a public breakdown would have been the better option, after all. Your instinct is to start screaming, but your brain recognizes who’s in front of you just as you open your mouth, and instead a gasp escapes you. It’s the same silver-haired man who’d tapped your shoulder in the bar. 

Your mouth hangs open. You aren’t in any state to wrap your head around what you’re supposed to do in this situation.

“Sorry,” the man says, his voice laced with the slightest hint of nervousness. “That was a dumb question.” He kneels down to your level and looks at you with a tender smile accented by his rosy cheeks. “Do you need help?”

You aren’t sure how long you’re gaping at him for, but at some point you become conscious of the tears and snot staining your face and realize what an absolute mess you must look like. With a yelp, you slam your mouth shut and scrub at your face with your hands.

“I-I’m fine!” you gulp, a little more loudly than you intended. “I’m just having a bad day, that’s all!” The man nods and stands up, offering you his hand. Hesitantly, you take it and let him pull you to your feet.

“Thank you,” you say sheepishly, dusting off your dress. You find it funny how you were on the brink of losing your mind two minutes ago, and now that a pretty man is in your sight, you’re completely fine. You mentally roll your eyes at yourself and try to pull together a little dignity.

“No problem.” There’s a weird tinge to his voice that you can’t figure out. It’s not something that sets off any alarms, but it makes you think there’s something going on in his head too. “My name’s Koushi,” he says with a kind smile. “Nice to meet you.” You tell him your name and return the pleasantry.

“I’m sorry you’re having a bad day.” He furrows his eyebrows in genuine concern. “Do you want me to walk you back to your friends?” You’re caught off-guard by his offer. Of course he would assume that you’re out with people, and now you have to tell him that you’re all alone like a complete loser.

“A-actually,” you start, trying to figure out the best way to phrase your situation. “I’m not out with friends tonight.”

“Oh!” Koushi exclaims, and you watch with surprise as a blush springs across his face. It’s really cute. “You’re out with your boyfriend then? Did he do something to you?!” You almost choke at his words.

“No, no, that’s not it at all!” A laugh almost escapes you as you see how concerned he looks. “It’s a long story.”

“So you’re out here alone?!” You nod. You can’t believe how worked up he is. “You can’t be alone on New Year’s Eve!” A smile pops onto your face involuntarily.

“Yeah, it wasn’t my plan, but…” You shrug. “Here I am.” A deep frown crosses Koushi’s face.

“Well, you can’t stay out here by yourself! You ended up alone in an alley; you could’ve been kidnapped! Or worse!” You try to stutter out some sort of defense. “What were you thinking?!”

“I-I did consider that I could be murdered, but I—”

“You’re coming with me.”

You’re mind takes a moment to process his statement. Now that he’s in front of you, and not about to disappear into a crowd of people again, you take a closer look at him. He’s not too tall, but tall enough that you have to tilt your head up to look at him. He has a couple strands of hair that stick straight up on the top of his head, and particularly thick eyebrows sitting over his warm eyes, softly squished from the grin on his face. Maybe on another person, his features would have been weird, but he pulls them off very, very well.

“Are you serious? You don’t have to babysit me,” you object, waving your hands in front of your face. “I’m fine, really.” You mentally slap yourself.  _ What am I doing? _ _ This beautiful person is inviting you to join him, and you’re messing it up! _

“Hmm…” Koushi scrutinizes you while rubbing his chin. Under any other circumstances, you wouldn’t mind. You don’t get the impression that he’s judging you, just thinking deeply. However, you know without looking that you look like an absolute mess, so you really wish he wouldn’t do that.

“I’m not convinced,” he declares.

“I-I’m sorry?”

“I don’t think people who are fine typically have mascara running down their cheeks.” You’re taken aback by his boldness. You don’t know whether to yell at him or start crying again, so instead you burst out with a laugh.

“Is it really that bad?!” you shriek, rubbing under your eyes while knowing full-well that your effort is in vain. 

“Well…” Koushi starts, biting his lip before he watches you unravel a little more and backtracks completely. “I’m kidding!” he apologizes with a sympathetic grin. “Sorry, that was kind of mean.” He looks down at the ground and bites his lip before his eyes shift back up to meet yours. “Let me buy you a drink to make it up to you?”

You can’t fucking believe it. There’s no way this man is seriously asking to buy you a drink after witnessing your dumpster breakdown. He must notice the weird look on your face, because he starts backtracking again. 

“That was too much, wasn’t it?! What I meant to say was—”

“Yes!” you blurt out. Relief washes over his face. “I would love more than anything to get out of this alley.” You offer him your hand with a grin. “Lead the way?” Koushi beams back at you and eagerly takes your hand. You welcome the heat spreading across your cheeks as he guides back out into the glow of the city.


	2. Chapter 2

Looking at yourself in the bathroom mirror, you take in a deep breath and let the reality of your current situation sink in. Your awful night has turned itself around in the blink of an eye. The two of you had wound up at another bar, a little classier and not as packed as the one you were at before. He recommended it, and you agreed to go before even hearing him describe the place.

You pull out your phone to check the time. Somehow, it’s only 9 o’clock. You ignore all of the messages from your friends, only now it’s not because they’re too painful to read, but because you don’t have time to go through them while Koushi’s waiting for you. 

He’d been right, your makeup is surprisingly still pretty intact. You wipe off the few stray smudges with a paper towel and take in your appearance. You look pretty good, if you have to say so yourself. Now, time to pull yourself together and figure out just what’s going on with this good-looking stranger.

When you get back, you see he hasn’t ordered yet. You slide onto the seat next to him and give him a sheepish smile.

“Better?” you ask, batting your eyelashes. He squints, giving you that same intense scrutiny as he had done in the alley. You know both times he’s done it only as a joke, but it’s a little impressive just how attentive he seems to be.

“Better,” he finally agrees, and you give him a dramatic sigh of relief. Only, you don’t really have to try that hard to look relieved. “Sorry, I didn’t want to order until you came back. Anything you want, it’s on me.” He looks at you with an expectant smile, and you’re still waiting for the catch. What’s wrong with him? There has to be something going on here. 

You ponder for a moment and decide that he’s worth the risk. You order your favorite drink and thank him. He gets the bartender's attention and you take advantage of the fact that he’s busy with someone else to gaze shamelessly at him. There’s a mellow neon light emanating from behind the bar that’s softened all his features and given his silver hair and pale skin a red tinge. It makes his eyes shine even more than they do on their own. The way a little smile stays on his face as he talks to the bartender makes your heart speed up. You can’t remember the last time someone’s made you feel this way just by looking at them, and now you find yourself completely unable to look at anything else.

You’re brought back down to earth when he turns back to you, that same smile still sticking around on his face.  _ Have I really just been staring at him this whole time?  _ A pang of embarrassment hits you and your eyes shoot down to the counter. It’s not very discrete, but you’re doing your best under the circumstances.

“So, do I get an explanation now?” Your eyes snap back up to his and you let out an indignant huff.

“ _ You _ ? Do I get an explanation for why  _ you _ were also in an alley? I thought you were a murderer!” He looks taken aback by your question, and you’re a little satisfied making the smile disappear off his face for a moment.

“W-well, how about you go first?” he stammers, finally not making eye contact with you. Not that you want him to stop, it’s just nice to see him a little frazzled too. “I think that’s only fair.”

“Fine,” you say with an eye roll. You suppose you’d probably still be sobbing next to a dumpster if it weren’t for him. Before you can start, the bartender brings your drinks over. You steal another unabashedly fascinated glance at him while he thanks the bartender. “What’d you get?” His drink is some clear alcohol served in a lowball glass.

“You didn’t hear me order it?” The smirk radiating from his face scorches your cheeks. “It’s gin.”

“You can just drink it straight like that?!” you gasp before you can stop yourself. 

“Yup.” He takes a swig without even the slightest hint of disgust crossing his face. “Years of practice.” You try to ignore how attractive you find that. Drinking pure alcohol is gross, not impressive, but… when he’s doing it… 

“Okay, I’m waiting,” Koushi says, interrupting a train of thought you hadn’t even realized you’d fallen into.

“For?” you ask, confused. 

“You to explain why I found you crying in an alley.”  _ Right _ . You take a big sip of your drink. The burn of the alcohol only adds to the persistent flush on your face. You tell him your story, of how you were only here for business and were supposed to be at home right now, celebrating with your friends. Instead, you’re stuck in a strange city all by yourself. You notice that you don’t even sound a bit upset when you’re recounting this for him, and you force yourself to sound at least a little sad. 

“Wow, I’m so sorry.” His eyes gleam with genuine concern. “Having to spend any holiday by yourself is awful.” You thank him with a shrug. 

“It’s alright” You look down at your drink and fidget with your straw. “Things could be worse...” You sneak a peek up at him and swear you see a blush on his face, but maybe it’s just the glow of the red light.

“Now it’s your turn,” you point out, straightening up and giving him your most intense gaze. You’re shocked to watch his demeanor switch instantaneously. 

“R-right,” he stammers, averting his eyes down the floor, messing with one of the buttons of his shirt. Watching him squirm is a little too satisfying for you. “It’s kind of embarrassing…”

“I  _ need _ something embarrassing from you. We need to be even.”

“Even?” He looks up at you with a puzzled pout that melts your heart.

“Yes! You saw me crying next to a dumpster! Now tell me!” He bursts out in a laugh and surrenders.

“Okay, you’ve convinced me.” He takes a swig of his drink before continuing, and you do a little mental cheer. “Like you, my friends and I spend every New Year’s Eve together. It’s a tradition, I guess.”

Koushi goes on to tell you about how this year all of his friends were dating someone, except for him. He’d reassured his friends that he’d have just as much fun as they would without anyone by his side, but he’d known deep down that he hadn’t really meant that. His friends must have made the same realization, because they’d been annoyingly persistent with trying to set him up with someone. Friends, coworkers, friends of friends, basically anyone they could think of. He’d politely turned them down each time, but eventually they wore him out and he agreed to a blind date just to get them off his back.

“You’re supposed to be on a date right now?!” You’re too shocked to keep a twinge of jealousy out of your voice. 

“I haven’t finished yet!” he chuckles, effectively shutting you up. “I  _ was _ on date, or at least I thought I was.” The date that Koushi had finally accepted was the step-sister of the girlfriend of one of his friends. He didn’t know her at all, and his friend had only met her a few times in passing. But, she was pretty, so he’d hoped for the best.

“She actually kind of looks like you,” he adds in absentmindedly, and you can’t tell if he’s flirting or if it’s just a genuine observation. “That’s who I was looking for earlier when I tapped your shoulder.” You don’t miss the wry little smile that passes over his face. He breaks away to look down at his drink and rolls his eyes.

“Right after that I found her. She was um… making out with another guy.” He practically mumbles the last sentence.

“ _ What!? _ ” you gasp. “Are you serious?!” He downs the rest of his drink and nods. A grin is still on his face, but the upbeat energy from before is certainly dampened. 

“Unfortunately.” He sighs and lays his head down to rest on top of his arms which are crossed over the counter. He tilts his head to look up at you and a few strands of his silver hair fall across his face. Through them, a hint of a blush peaks through, and this time you know for sure that it’s not just the glow of the lights. 

You wonder how much he’s had to drink tonight. He still seems well put-together, but maybe he’s just good at hiding his mental state. You’re certainly starting to get tipsy. Your drink is also empty now, and you’re finding it easier to meet Koushi’s gaze. You don’t even try to stop yourself from propping your chin on your palm and leaning down towards him. You can’t believe someone would pass up a date with him, but you suppose you’re glad they had. 

“I’m sorry to hear that.” He shrugs and rolls his eyes.

“Thank you. It’s not really that big of a deal; it’s just kind of embarrassing, I guess.”

“But…” you drawl, squinting down at him. “That doesn’t explain how you ended up in the alley.” Koushi groans and buries his head in his arms. 

“Do I have to tell you?” His voice is muffled. 

“Yes!” you shout, a little louder than you intend. In the heat of your annoyance, you reach over and shake his shoulder. The remnants of sober you tell you that’s far too much, but the drunk you is in control now. “You have to! Then we’ll be even!”

“Okay, okay!” he laughs, allowing himself to be jostled around by you. “It’s just kind of a weird story to tell a stranger.” 

“So what?” Despite your prior abandon, you don’t have trouble putting on a serious face now. Maybe you’re not as drunk as you thought. “I’m leaving tomorrow. What do you have to lose? Spill your heart out, Koushi.”

Nevermind. Sober you would never say something that bold. Your superfluous poetic side always comes out when you’ve had a few drinks. A tinge of regret creeps up in your chest, but a glowing smile from Koushi makes it dissipate just as quickly as it had come. 

“Okay, you win.” Your heart swells as you beam back at him. “On one condition, though.” You raise an eyebrow. “Let me buy you another drink?”

“That’s very sly of you” you snort. “I guess I have no choice, then!”

“I was hoping you’d say that.” On the outside, you just roll your eyes, but on the inside you feel like a million fireworks are going off in your chest. You try to calm yourself down as he orders another round of drinks from the bartender. Sure, maybe every brash move you’ve made so far has worked out for you, but you don’t want to push your luck and weird him out.

However… you just said that you’d only be here for tonight. Nothing that you do tonight will matter tomorrow, so maybe you should just take your own advice and let go. It makes you a little sad, though. Koushi’s only becoming more and more handsome the longer you sit across from him. You suppose that just means you have to savor his company as much as you can while he's here with you.

Your drinks arrive and you sip yours while looking at him expectantly. 

“You’re pretty impatient, aren’t you?” You nearly choke on your straw at his words. 

“This was the deal! You told me—”

“I’m joking!” he snickers, obviously enjoying how worked up you are. You huff and cover up your embarrassment by taking another sip. “So… last year I was dating this girl... ”

Koushi’s demeanor visibly shifts as he begins his story. The gleam from his eyes dims, and you miss it as soon as it’s gone. With a deep sigh, he tells you about how he’d been cheated on by his last girlfriend… last New Year’s Eve. You gasp again. You don’t know how many more surprises you can take, and you don’t understand what these people must have been thinking.

That’s the reason why he’d been so adamant to ring in the new year alone, despite being the only single one in his friend group. So, even though he hadn’t really cared for his date, seeing the same thing happen again this year had triggered all the bad memories from last year to come flooding back.

“I just needed to get out of there,” he exhales with a shrug. Despite his prior hesitation to opening up, he doesn’t seem ashamed at all. “Clear my head, you know?” You nod. “And, well… you know the rest.” His smile finally springs back onto his face.

“Wow.” You have to fight yourself to keep a smile off of your face too. His is just so contagious. “I’m so sorry. I think you’re actually having a worse night than I was.”

“Was?” That catches you off-guard, and you find yourself stuttering for an explanation that isn’t  _ Well, yeah,  _ look _ at you! _

“C-c’mon, do I look like I’m having a bad time?” Once again, the words leave your mouth before you can notice how risky they are. But, you have to admit, the thrill is addicting.

“Not at all,” Koushi says with a grin so confident that it both captivates and infuriates you. 

“You must be upset still, though.” You think switching topics will help keep your breathing level. “I can’t imagine having to go through that.”

“It’s okay.” He shrugs, and you can tell he’s not faking indifference. “I’ve made my peace with it. Having that happen tonight was just like a slap in the face. I wasn’t prepared for it.” He finishes the rest of his drink. Yours has been empty for a bit. “Want me to let you in on a secret?” You nod vigorously, and he motions for you to bring your face closer to his. Up close, you can smell his cologne. It’s invigorating. You move your ear to his lips and his breath grazes your skin and sends a chill down your spine.

“I think I just might like you more than either of them.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed <3333333


	3. Chapter 3

At his words, you shoot back to your chair with a yelp, and you think your heart is about to explode out of your chest. Koushi looks at you with an innocent smile, as if he hadn’t just purposely broken you. He jumps off his stool as you’re still reeling for some witty comeback or  _ anything _ to signal that your brain is indeed functioning. 

“I’ll be back in a second,” he says with the biggest grin you’ve seen on him all night. You can only nod, your mouth unknowingly hanging open, and he heads off towards the bathroom. You watch him walk away, completely captivated by his lanky figure. 

You only regain consciousness once he’s out of sight, but your inner monologue is only an incomprehensible mishmash of screams, shrieks, and screeches.  _ I need to get it together _ , you finally manage to think, slapping your cheeks. You are  _ not _ the kind of person to melt so easily. It was  _ one _ sentence. But, man, is he dreamy… 

You take a look around to ground yourself. The bar is a lot fuller than it had been when you two first showed up. You’d been too absorbed in Koushi to even notice. You pull your phone out of your bag to check the time, and see all of the messages you’ve missed from your friends. A pang of guilt hits you as you read them; they’ve somehow convinced themselves that you must’ve been murdered because you haven’t been responding. You hurriedly send a short message telling them that you’re completely fine, more than fine, actually, and let them know that you’ll tell them everything that’s happened the first chance you get. 

Your eyes almost bulge out of your head when you read the time. It’s hardly past 10 o’clock. You can’t believe it. There’s no way you were crying outside in an alley only an hour ago. Now, you were actually a little glad that you’d gotten stranded here, because if you hadn’t, well…

_ No!  _ you scold yourself, shaking your head as if that would force the thought out. You  _ need  _ to calm down. Yes, Koushi is charming and charismatic and kind… and you’ve already come to the conclusion that you won’t live with any regrets tonight… but you still can’t give him the satisfaction of watching how easily he’s making you come undone.

You close your eyes and inhale through your nose. The alcohol makes you sway a bit as you try to compose yourself, but it’s better than nothing.  _ Just be cool— _

“What are you concentrating so hard on?”

So much for having things under control. A yelp escapes your mouth and your eyes snap open to see Koushi back in his seat, giving you a puzzled look. A smirk is tugging at the edges of his lips. You hadn’t even heard him come back over the buzz of all that’s going on around you.

“I-I was just trying to remember what I had for dinner last night.” You want to punch yourself for that being the best you could come up with.

“Ah, yes. I should’ve guessed by the look on your face,” Koushi snickers. You stick your tongue out and his laugh goes straight to your heart. “Anyways, wanna get out of here? My friends are probably thinking that I died.”

“Oh, sure.” You’d completely forgotten that, unlike you, he’s actually supposed to be with people right now. He gets up and offers you his hand.

“I don’t usually introduce girls to my friends on the first date,” he says as you take his hand and follow him through the crowd of people. “But you’re an exception.” The mixture of alcohol and the rush from his hand being in yours are threatening to turn your legs to jelly, so you’re too busy focusing on staying upright to immediately realize what he's said.

You catch up to the present as he pulls you out the door. The rush of cold air sobers you up a bit, and you find it a little easier to keep up with his banter.

“Oh god, what if they don’t like me?!” you frown, slapping your free hand to your cheek. Koushi chuckles and squeezes your hand.

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

As you let Koushi lead you along to wherever his friends are, you soak in the atmosphere around you. Even the streets are packed. People are wading in and out of bars, yelling and cheering for no reason other than celebrating the new year. The glow of the streetlights rises up to illuminate the skyscrapers towering over you. Past the buildings, far off in the distance, fireworks are lighting up the night sky. The mood is completely different than it had been during the day. You don’t need to know anyone, because it’s like the whole city is throwing one big party.

The buzz from the alcohol has numbed you to the cold and left you to observe everything in a warm daze. The only thing you’re acutely aware of is Koushi walking next to you, his hand still intertwined with yours. It’s pretty selfish of you, but you’re a little upset that you two are heading to where his friends are. You want him to yourself. You want his undivided attention. But, you scold yourself, just because you aren’t spending the holiday with your friends doesn’t mean that he shouldn’t spend it with his. You find yourself inching closer and closer to him, to the point where your shoulders are touching.

“What do you think of the city?” he asks after he notices you gawking at the scene strewn around the two of you.

“It’s incredible.” You really mean it. “There’s so much going on. Everyone seems so… at home.”

“They do,” Koushi hums. “There’s a reason for that. You should see this place from afar… There's this park a little ways from here that has a view over the whole city.” He looks down at you and smiles. “I wish you could see it.”

You don’t know how to feel about that. Butterflies are swirling around in your chest, and your gut reaction is to tell him to take you sometime. But, there’s no time for him to take you. You’re leaving tomorrow. The same premise that had freed you to act however you wanted earlier is now… hurting your heart a little bit.

“I would love that.” You struggle to keep a bittersweet tint out of your voice. “It sounds lovely.”

“It is!” Koushi’s eyes light up as you two continue to stroll down the street. “Especially at night, you can see so many more stars than you can see from h—” With no warning, he stops with a sharp halt, accidentally pulling you back and making you stumble into him.

“What happened?” you ask, completely taken by surprise. His eyes are fixed on something ahead of you, and his face has turned white. “Koushi?”

“Um.” He swallows hard and break s out of his trance to look down at you. “My ex-girlfriend is walking towards us.”

Your stomach sinks all the way to the ground. You tear your eyes away from him to see where he’s looking, and somehow you instantly know which person must be his ex-girlfriend. A shiver of insecurity runs through you. She’s… beautiful. She’s wearing a dress that fits her perfectly, and the shine from her hair is clear even from half a block away. She’s walking towards the two of you, but there’s no way she’s noticed Koushi yet because all of her attention is absorbed in the man she’s clinging onto. 

“I haven’t seen her since last New Year’s,” Koushi says, panic rising in his voice. The alarm in his voice triggers something in you, and you suddenly feel completely sober. There’s no way you can let her see him. Judging by his reaction, nothing good is going to happen. So, without any warning, you tighten your grip on his hand and yank him into an alleyway. He doesn’t even react, and just lets you pull him along away from the street.

You stop once you’ve turned a corner where the street is now out of sight. Reluctantly, you let go of his hand and try to gauge the expression on his face. He’s looking down at the ground, and nothing gives away what he’s thinking other than a barely noticeable knit in his brows. You don’t know what to say, so you just let him process it. That’s probably what you would want.

“I’m sorry,” he tells you after a bit, bringing his eyes back up to meet yours, but you can tell he’s still not really here with you. 

“Don’t apologize,” you say. You hesitate, but you take his hand back. He’s eyes start to clear up as you grasp it in between both of yours. “You have nothing to be sorry for. She hurt you; you’ve just got to let yourself feel that.” Koushi gives you a little smile and presses his other hand into yours.

“Thank you.” His voice is solemn but you can sense his brightness coming back. You can’t help from wanting to just continue on like nothing had happened, but you know that’d be awfully insensitive of you. If you were him… you’d probably just want to go home to crawl under your blankets and cry. You let go of his hand and avert your eyes to the side.

“I totally understand if you just want to go home or something now.” You try to keep the disappointment out of your voice for his sake. “I imagine that must’ve been kind of jarring.”

“Huh?!” The forcefulness of his utterance makes your eyes dart right back to him. “What are you talking about?”

“Well, I just don’t want you to feel like you have to stay with me if you don’t want t—”

“Are you joking?” He reaches over and snaps up your hand again. “That’s the last thing I want.” You gaze up at him, trying to decide whether or not he’s just saying that for your sake.

“I’m not just saying that,” he says, reading your mind. “I mean it. This is the most fun I’ve had in awhile.” You have no choice other than to let a blush flood your face and a smile make itself prominent on your face. 

“I guess I have to believe you,” you tease, and once more sink into the warm feeling of knowing you’re at the forefront of his mind. “So, off to find your friends then?” 

“About that…” His tone sets you off on high alert again. If he doesn’t want to go find his friends, does that mean he  _ does _ just want to go home? If so, then what was all that for? “I have a better idea of what we should do, but I don’t know if you’ll go for it.” You’re so relieved that you’re sure you’ll agree to anything he says.

“Try me.”

“Remember when I mentioned that park that overlooks the whole city?”

“Of course I do, that was like ten minutes ago.”

“Well… what if we went there? It’s a train ride and a bit of a walk, and I know you don’t really know me that well, so I totally understand if you don’t want to, but it’s really, really beautiful, and I—”

“Let’s go.” You don’t need any convincing. Go to a bar with his friends and not get any alone time with him for the rest of the night, or go be alone with only the stars and glow of the city? It’s an easy choice. You start walking and tug him along.

“Really?!” He’s a little bit behind you, so you can’t see his face, but you know he’s overjoyed from the sound of his voice. “One thing, though—”

“No thing. Only go.”

“Well, we’re going the wrong way.” You stop in your tracks and turn around to see him smirking down at you. He looks so good doing it that you can’t even be mad at him. 

“I knew that.”

“Whatever you say.” And he laughs as you pull him along in the other direction.


	4. Chapter 4

“It’s just up here,” Koushi says, now pulling you up a steep road defined by little, crowded two-story houses on either side. You’re a little out of breath, but you’re trying your best not to let it show. 

Like Koushi told you, the two of you had to take a subway ride to get here. It was oddly… nice. Hardly anyone was in the train, as they were all still downtown celebrating. He held onto your hand the entire ride, and you didn’t stand a chance at denying how touched you were by it. Once at the right stop, you stepped out into a completely empty station. You couldn’t believe you were in the same city.

You can already make out some stars overhead, but you’re too captivated by what’s around you to take much notice. Although you only have dim streetlamps and the background glow of the city to light your surroundings, it’s a really beautiful neighborhood. When neither of you are talking, there’s only the sound of your footsteps on the brick road. 

“How do you know about this place?” you ask, transfixed by your surroundings. 

“Oh,” Koushi starts with a sheepish grin. “I grew up here.” You can’t quite pinpoint what, but something about his answer tugs at your heart strings. Instinctively, you take another look around and try to imagine him running around these streets with his friends, or spending time with his family in one of the houses.

“Already taking me to meet your family on the first date?” you joke. “Sheesh, and I thought meeting your  _ friends _ was too much.” You make out Koushi rolling his eyes through the dim light. 

“Very funny.” He can’t help but let out a laugh. “To be honest with you, I don’t think I’ve ever taken anyone here.” Your heart flutters in your chest as he turns to you with another sheepish smile. “Normally I wouldn’t tell you that, but I think we crossed the ‘weird’ line a while ago.”

“Hm…” You put your free hand up to your chin. “Was that in the first alley or the second?” Koushi snorts.

“Somewhere in the middle, I think.” The two of you turn a corner, and you’re faced with a tree-covered hill jutting out of the neighborhood. It’s so dark that you can’t even make out the top of it.

“Here we are,” Koushi says with an eager grin. “I hope you like hiking.” You glance down at your dress and heels. Your heels aren’t  _ too _ big, but… they definitely aren’t meant for climbing up a goddamn mountain. You look back up at him and the anticipation on his face practically glows in the moonlight. How could you think, even for a moment, that going up there was a question?

“Lead the way!” you chirp, and the two of you trudge into the darkness. Walking on the dirt path is much easier than you’d thought, but the trees overhead block out nearly all the light, leaving you to only guess at what’s on the ground in front of you. You think it might be a good idea to bring out your flashlight, but you don’t. Koushi seems like he knows exactly where he’s going without having to see, and you’ve already trusted him this far. No reason to stop now.

You keep your head down, trying to make out what’s in front of you just to avoid tripping on a stray stick or rock. Out of the corner of your eye, you can just barely see Koushi walking next to you. Neither of you are talking; you’re too focused on not making a fool of yourself by breaking your ankle. The silence isn’t awkward. On the contrary, you feel at ease. There’s only the soft tread of your feet on the frozen earth, the gentle rustle of the wind through the leaves, and an occasional audible breath from one of you. 

“Just a little further,” Koushi informs you. Can he notice your breathing getting heavier? You’re trying to hide that. You look up and see the trees starting to give way to pockets of the bright sky. They shine down on the ground in little puddles of light.

“I can see why you like this place,” you say, taking in a breath of clean, cold air.

“We haven’t even gotten to the best part yet.” You glance over at him and can just make out a smile. He’s just a blurry shape to you, but your heart still skips a beat.

“It’s so… peaceful.” You can’t believe you’re still technically in the city. You could be in the middle of the wilderness, and you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. “It feels like we’re the only people anywhere near here.” Just as the words leave your mouth, the path starts to flatten out and trees disappear to reveal the glow of the city. You grasp tighter on Koushi’s hand and dash forward to the very top of the hill as fast as your heels allow. Koushi lets out a yelp as you yank him along with you. 

The top is nothing but a grassy field with an unobstructed view of everything below. Directly in front of you is the city, with its skyscrapers stretching into the sky and everything else reduced down to only a pinpoint of light. High up in the atmosphere, its orange glow melts away into the deep blackness of night. You spin around to face Koushi, beaming uncontrollably. 

“It’s beautiful!” you gasp. The light from the city behind you glints in Koushi’s eyes, shines white on his silver hair, and illuminates his smile. 

“I knew you’d love it,” he says. “But this isn’t all of it” Still holding onto your hand, he turns around and moves beside you. He sweeps his arm across the area laid out in front of you two. 

Your mouth drops open. On the opposite side of the hill from the city, the full moon has risen above the horizon, surrounded by flecks of multi-colored stars. The blue light of the moon cascades down from the sky to be soaked up by the silhouettes of mountains in the distance. Their snowcaps reflect the moon and shine nearly as bright. 

“Its…” you turn to him and suck in a breath of frigid air, tears welling up in your eyes. “AMAZING!” You can’t keep yourself from bouncing up and down, jostling Koushi in your excitement. “I’ve never seen anything so.. s-so-” You struggle for the right word to describe it, so you resort to making wild gestures with your free arm. “I love it.” He lets out a breathless little laugh, unfazed by your frenzy. 

“I’m glad you see it the way I do,” he smiles. “But, now,” A mischievous glint crosses his eyes and he squeezes your hand. “My favorite part!” And with one fell swoop, Koushi falls to the grassy earth, pulling you with him. You let out a screech as you tumble down, hardly able to make out where the ground is. But instead of hitting the cold dirt like you expect, you plop right onto his lap. A blush runs right down from your cheeks to your neck when you open your eyes to see his just inches away from yours. 

“Koushi!” you shriek, trying your best to keep the laughter out of your voice. “That was so rude!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” he says without a hint of sincerity, throwing up his hands. “I promise it won’t happen again.”

“Whatever you say…” You roll your eyes. Although it’s dark, you’re close enough to him that you can still make out all of his features perfectly. His eyes are locked on yours, and he still has that little smile that’s been on his face all night. You wonder if that’s just how he always looks. But, his eyes, they look different than before. Maybe it’s just the lack of light tricking you, but they look so soft and warm that you can’t help but be pulled in by them. You can’t bring yourself to look away.

The two of you sit there, your arms still wrapped around his neck, saying nothing. Little puffs of your breath and his escape from your lips and intertwine in the small space between you. He glances down at your lips and back up at your eyes. Your thoughts have completely shut down, and your body is relying purely on instinct, and your instincts are telling you to lean in and close the gap.

“Wait!” Koushi yelps. “What time is it?!” Before his words can sink in, you reel for a moment, watching him pull away. Your stomach sinks as his lips move away from yours, but his eyes are still on you, and you relish in it. Then, you realize what he’s talking about. It’s still New Year’s Eve.

“Oh my god!” you screech, and rush to dig through your coat pocket for your phone. You pull it out, and the two of you lean over it with bated breath as you light it up. The screen reads 11:50 PM. Both of you exhale in relief, and you look up to his face illuminated by the light of your phone through the fog of your breaths. After a second, it lifts, and you take in as many details as you can. Although you’ve been doing nothing but look at him all night, it still makes your heart skip a beat. 

“That could’ve been bad,” he jokes, and you catch a glimpse of his perfect smile before your screen turns off and plunges the two of you back into darkness.

“I completely forgot,” you admit, and immediately regret it. He doesn’t need to know how entirely absorbed you are in him. “I’ll set an alarm!” you blurt out, pulling your eyes away from his. “Just so we don’t forget again.” 

You feel your face burning for the billionth time tonight, only this time it's because of your embarrassment. You try to slap some sense into yourself as you set an alarm for midnight. Why do you care what he thinks of you? That’s the whole point of this, isn’t it? That you’ll never see him again, so why would it matter if you’re acting too eager? You blame your sudden coyness on the lack of alcohol in your veins. Don’t be nervous. Just do what feels right. You repeat this sentiment again and again before you shove your phone back into your pocket. 

“Done.” You look back at him, and even through the dark, his warm eyes derail any conviction you could bring yourself to muster.

“Good thinking.” Your faces are still inches apart, but the electric tension has wavered. “That means we have time for  _ the _ best part before midnight.” You scrunch your eyebrows together. 

“The best part?”

“Yup,” he nods, and then promptly lies down on his back. Your face flushes, again, and you’re thankful that he can’t see it. You’re still sitting on top of him, simply gazing down at him as he crosses his arms behind his head. It’s a beautiful sight, so beautiful that you don’t even try to understand why it's happening.

“You have to lie down next to me,” he laughs, and your face gets so hot that you swear there’s no way he can’t sense it.

“R-right.” You slip onto the grass and lie back with your head resting on his arm. He moves his head to rest against yours.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Listening to his voice, you automatically bring yourself out of your mental fog and your eyes open up to realize the sight in front of you. Your vision is nothing but a sea of stars, tinged by the orange of the city and framed by the trees surrounding you. 

“It is,” you inhale, soaking up the way it all overwhelms you. Each star bores down into your eyes and steals a little bit of your breath away as Koushi’s body—his head, his arm, his leg—sends a heatwave through you only to be cooled by the ground underneath you. The two of you just lie there in silence, taking it all in.

“I’m glad you’re here with me,” Koushi says after a while. His voice doesn’t have a hint of shyness. It’s only sincere. You tilt your head, and even though you still can’t see his face, your cheek presses against his. 

“Thank you for bringing me here.” The heat from his skin warms up your entire body, and you hope yours does the same to him.

“It really just makes you forget about everything else, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, it does.” You love the feeling of his face against yours as you talk. The slightest hint of stubble grazes your cheek. “It’s so peaceful.” Koushi reaches over and entwines his hand in yours. Your heart is beating so fast you feel like you’re about to faint. You take a sly, deep breath and concentrate on the clusters of stars hanging over you.

“Your face is so warm,” Koushi says as he nudges your face with his, shattering the last bit of composure you’ve been clinging onto.

“How do you do that?!” you exclaim, propping yourself up on your elbow to be able to see his face. He gazes up at you, his eyebrows raised in surprise but a giant, annoying smirk tugging at his lips.

“Do what?” he asks innocently. 

“Do…” you struggle to put your frustration into words. “ _ That _ !”

“I’m not sure what you mean.” You heave a defeated sigh.

“I don’t understand how I’ve known you for a few hours, and you can already make me feel this way.” You force yourself to meet his eyes as you speak, watching them become rounder and his smirk grow deeper.

“What way?” he wonders. His resolve to see just how far he can push you both infuriates and thrills you. You groan and move yourself so that you’re hovering over him, both hands either on side of his head. A strand of your hair falls against his temple. You can tell Koushi is trying to keep up his smug poise, but he looks like he’s in a state of pure bliss.

“I feel like I couldn’t pull myself away from you if I tried.” 

“Really?” he says, reaching up to twirl the lock of your hair through his fingers. You hum in agreement, your mind too fuzzy to come up with any sort of snide remark.

“Well, I’m glad we feel the same way.” Your heart stops, and your body goes numb. Somehow, you manage to keep yourself propped up on your arms. The same feeling from earlier floods through you. The sight of his magnetic eyes and the little mole right next to them, the way his hair falls back against the grass, and the infinitely sweet smile  _ still _ gracing his lips--they all pull you in so deeply there’s no chance of escape this time.

Your alarm goes off in your coat pocket. Neither of you move.

“It’s midnight,” you whisper.

“Happy New Year,” he murmurs back. And then, basked in the glow of the multicolor sky, you lean down and kiss him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!!! hope you enjoyed reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it <3333333333

**Author's Note:**

> 1 comment = 1 pet for my cat


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